A Hodge-Podge for Nature’s Table

A wanton eye that seeks but1 to allure;
Dissembling countenance that looks demure;
A griping hand that holds what’s none of his;
A jealous mind, which thinks all is amiss;
A purple face, where mattery pimples stood;                     5
A slandering tongue that still dispraises2 good;
A frowning brow, with rage and anger bent;
A good proceeding3 from an ill intent;
Large promises, which for performance stayed,4
And proffered gifts, which no acceptance had;5                10
Affected words that signified6no thing,
And feignèd laughter which no mirth doth bring;7
Thoughts idle, foolish, unuseful, and8 vain,
Which are created in9 a lover’s brain;
Antic postures, where no coherence10 is;                            15
Well-meaning mind,11 which12 always doth13 amiss;
A voice that’s hoarse, where notes cannot agree;
And squinting14 eyes, that no true shape can see;
Wrinkles, which15 time hath set in every face;
Vainglory brave that falls16 in full disgrace;                       20
A self-conceited pride without a cause;
A painful desperate act17 without applause;
Verses no sense nor fancy have, but18 rhyme;
Ambitious19 falls, when20 highest hopes do climb.
All these Life i’th’pot of dislike boils21 fast,                         25
And stirs them with the22 ladle of distaste.
She makes therein the fat of gluttons23 flow,
And roots of several vices throws into,24
With25 several herbs —as agèd thyme26 that’s dry,
Heart-burning parsley, funeral27 rosemary—                    30
Then pours28 it out into repentant dishes,
And sends it up by shadows of vain wishes.

  1. but] for 1653
  2. dispraises] dispraiseth 1664, 1668
  3. proceeding] that comes out 1653
  4. Large promises, which for performance stayed,] Then took he Promises that ne’re were perform’d, 1653
  5. which no acceptance had;] that slighted were, and scorn’d. 1653
  6. that signified] that signifie 1664; which signifie 1668
  7. And feigned laughter which no mirth doth bring;] Feigning Laughter, but no Mirth therein. 1653
  8. foolish, unuseful, and] unusefull, and very 1653
  9. in] from 1653
  10. Antic postures, where no coherence] Such Antick postures, where no Grace in 1664; Such Antick postures, where no Grace in 1668
  11. mind,] Minds, 1664; Minds, 1668
  12. which] yet 1653
  13. doth] do 1664, 1668
  14. squinting] Squintings 1653
  15. which] that 1653
  16. falls] fall 1653
  17. act] Art 1653
  18. no sense nor fancy have, but] wherein’s no Fancy, Sense, nor 1664; wherein’s no Fancy, Sense, nor 1668
  19. Ambitious] Ambitions 1664; Ambition 1668
  20. falls, when] fall, where 1653
  21. these Life i’th’pot of dislike boils] in the Pot of dislike boileth 1653
  22. And stirs them with the] Then stirs it with a 1653
  23. She makes therein the fat of gluttons] The Fat of Gluttons in the Pot did 1653
  24. throws into,] in did throw; 1653
  25. With] And 1653
  26. thyme] Time 1653. In modernizing 1653’s “Time” we have made the implicit pun less visible.
  27. funeral] Buriall 1653
  28. pours] powers 1653